Saturday, October 9, 2010

What Difference Does it Make?

I had basically the same conversation with two different people this week. I've had it before and normally I just find it mildly annoying, but in light of recent goings on, it really pissed me off.

The conversation goes something like this:

"You know men who knit? Are they all gay? Oh, they're gay, they just don't know it yet."

Usually I just shrug and say, "Some of the guys I know who knit are gay, some of them aren't. What difference does it make?"

Also, some of the guys I know who are lawyers are gay. Some of them aren't.

Some women that I know who are accountants are gay. Some of them aren't.

Some people that I know who are assholes are straight. Some of them aren't.

I am not gay, but I was bullied as a child. It went on for years and I never understood why it was happening at the time. My teachers were no help because they either didn't notice me and forgot that I existed, or at times, they were the ones doing the bullying.

Did this change the person that I am now? Probably. Because our experiences are what shape us. The point is, though, that I eventually got to have different experiences. Because grammar school, high school, even college - they all end. It's hard to see out while you're inside, especially when this is all you've ever known, but this is not the world.

It does get better.

Not perfect. But better. You will find your community, just like I did. You will find people who are like you and who love you because of who you are. There will still be people who hate you because of what you are, but they are the ones who are wrong, not you. And you won't have to face them alone anymore.